"Blue Eyed Boy"

She is penciling her future
Her body heat beside me
Stroking those keys
She cannot fathom what she means to be
Simply because I will not let on what the eye can see
Or maybe its less complicated than that
Either way,
What more can I say?

Sent the row boat to sail across the ocean by its lonesome
It's mast teeter - tottering against the head wind
And as the sails ripped
The wood sprang from the ship
I watched as she sank
As the beautiful script tipped below the water line
That memory stayed with me
Frozen in time
After state, and state, and state line
You can't lose what you never did find

I turned my head to look sideways
My peripheral vision blurry and melodic
I let the wheel spin from my finger tips
Closed my eyes and let go

Five more miles down the rabbit hole
Burned twice without scarring
Ancient heartache whose note is infamous
The familiar road I tread with clenched teeth
This street is all too familiar to me
I am lost without logic
Have spoken but not heard
My words get lost in translation
I can't even hear what I'm saying

So I walked the curb
I have seen and heard enough already
My throat's tight
But my hands are steady
Looking back now
I wish I had not complied
It's hard to see the Devil in Jesus' eyes
I could cry at this point
But I'm too afraid to try
My chest a failure at linguistics
Need a lobbiest or something

Pray for the breaking point
When I lose all reason
The kind of folk song I depend on singing
An artistic crutch to hold me afloat
To free me of frustration
Enable me to gloat
Where my pupils dilate
And the sky turns black
Burning holes in my retina
Streaming tracers of white
Where the dots form a silhouette
Still clear in the night
The city lights guarding me from whatever it is I've done
I am so set on believing
That I am in fact the one
So easy to manipulate myself
Into believing what I long to be true
I am still a weak woman
Drinking Nyquil
Becoming docile to understand

I don't want to live like this
I can't bear this name
This all too obvious tattoo
Across my chest
Things will never be the same
I've seen and heard enough already
Stand steady facing this fevered pain
Where is bliss when I need her?
Where's the sweet summer rain?
This time don't expect anything
Don't plea for what is not yours
That is not what God destined you for