"Great Fuehrers"

I'm too proud
Never realized
Until now
I didn't walk away to save you
Walked to save face
To abandon faith
With which comes responsibility
Told myself
I can't change,
So change this
Couldn't change because
I refused to look in the mirror
Was scared shitless of
Being heartless or worse
Heart hurt
I've worked too hard to get here
Watch the smoke float
Into a leery sky
There is no way to deny
That love is never enough
It is just something
That gets you through the tough stuff
And makes the nirvana seem endless
I flounder in indecision
Should I surrender to the darkness or the light?
Bear in mind
It is easier to destroy the light inside yourself
Than to defeat the darkness all around you
I wonder if I haven't found it
Then abandoned the truth
Without intending to
One glance and she changes her form
Changes from bitterness to scorn
In perseverance I am helpless
To what comes unto my soul
This foul smell will not leave me
Instead of deceit I try realism
Realistically it is not as affective
As in theory
I am not worried
So many great fuehrers were great
In theory